The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

From a sociological point of view the idea of ratings systems are fascinating. Designing ratings systems can be as easy or as difficult as one wants to make it. Certainly scientists and social scientists take great care to methodologically design systems used to evaluate a specific value, when compared with other specific values elicit (hopefully) useful information.



But just like every sound idea stupid people come along and fuck things up. Years ago I thought the user to user rating system on this site had some merit as far as quality of work, attention to detail, talent in design and creativity. I suspect that a fair number of people here on VR still rate this way; but there was a time when a person completely unknown to me would give me an honest assessment of work reflected.



I have come to realize that the rating system here, now, can itself be categorized into sub-sections and that is what "ratings" are actually based on. I suggest you all pay attention because

Here are my thoughts on those categories:



I Once Called Upon Lord Satan/I Read Three Lines From A Crowley Re-Publication Off The Internet/etc. Therefore I am Dark and Dangerous Raters



These are raters that really, really do expect that their rating will magically affect your life. That the bubbling fury of the 1 or 2 they are rating you will cause your water pump to fall out on the commute to work the next morning, or that the 10 bestowed upon you will transfer energy in tomorrow’s Powerball ticket that you buy. You can spot these people using language such as “Thou”, “Thine” and “Thee” (most often incorrectly just to test YOU) because these biblical words disguise their often completely illogical and irrational lines of thought with words that are no longer in common use thereby solidifying an illusion that at least THEY believe what they are saying and are therefore harmless. It is a TRICK. These raters command dark powers unknown to most of us and ought to be treated carefully. It is of no consequence that they may have lived 1800 years and still cannot spell “Kanser”…they misspell to blend in…beware.



I’m Fairly Nice But Fucking Lazy. How Many of These Fucking Things Do I Have To Rate For My Next Level Raters





The Eye For An Eye Self-Gratification Raters

You can’t miss these people because sound byte self-esteem has become the norm in our culture. You know who you are. VALIDATE ME, LOVE ME, FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, FACEBOOK ME,TEXT ME, AND RATE ME AT ALL OF THESE PLACES If I/you/they hear it enough times…maybe it’ll be true.





You Sir, Are a Douchebag Raters

This is a fascinating category because it can involve not only one or two, but sometimes multiple people, going on and on in what would appear to be one of the dumbest conversations you’d ever read if wasn’t such a train wreck that you felt compelled to keep reading for the sheer comedy.

Person A: You told this guy that knows my girlfriend that my dog pissed on my bed and then I slept in it and didn’t even care. I am rating you a 1. Person B: I don’t even know who the fuck you are but it seems like you probably are the kind of person who would sleep in pee. Therefore, I am rating you a 1.







These conversations go on ad nauseaum ALWAYS about stupid, meaningless shit. Here’s a tip: If you are responding to a douche, you sir, are also a douche.





Progression Over Time Raters These are people who are judging what you have done to not be fit to meet their standards. BUT if you ask nicely, SEEK their approval, they will consider upping your score. The exception here are honest raters who are judging an obviously new profile. This model of rating is based on common standards, but when applied to personal taste and aesthetic can only fail. I don’t care what you think of my pink background and I will not change it to suit your uber- gothy everything must be black or I am on the wrong site retarded 15 year old, misconceptions. Fuck you, I like flowers.





The Best Rating System Of All Time: Mine I generally have no idea why I rate what I rate. It is a composition and an amalgamation of all of the above categories, I suppose. I rate what I feel like rating and when and if I feel like rating you. This is a service I pay for and it is here for my pleasure. If I don’t like you I probably won’t even rate you because the words on your profile are most likely a waste of good space.



If I have, in fact, rated you a “1” it is with careful thought and after much consideration that I have concluded that you are an abject failure. FAILSAUCE. Do I care if you then rate me a 1, in fact, no I expect it. I imagine you hovering over your keyboard checking your profile every 5 minutes to see if someone new likes you; with your cheap eyeliner smeared and running because your mom just doesn’t understand you. It doesn’t matter how old you are…think about it, your mom hates you. And here is my message for you:

COMMENTS

-

---

MooniePie
03:21 Oct 18 2010

LMAO. Oh. My. Holy. Jeebus.



I just totally peed a lil.



I'd bow down before thee and the greatness that is thee, but with my luck I'd just conjure up Satan in some fluffy bunny slippers and a thong.

---

Requiem
12:40 Oct 18 2010

Fuck me running.



AHahahahaha How do I love thee? Let me count the ways ... "10." =)

---

ThothLestat
18:41 Oct 19 2010

Best post EVER.

---

Cheetahcry
21:35 Oct 19 2010

Thanks for the best laugh in a while Sevenn.... My favorite part is the last about rating

---

imagesinwords
23:30 Oct 19 2010

We need more of Sevenn's journals entries!

---

imagesinwords
23:30 Oct 19 2010

*journal*

---

LadyKrystalynDarkstar
03:06 Oct 20 2010

LMAO! This made me snort!

---

PAGAN
13:29 Oct 20 2010

...a big fat old 10/10.



I laughed, snorted,giggled, nodded and well, I really just enjoyed it heaps. I even added your journal in the hope you'll gimme more of this kind of entry... Please? [I was a tad bored til now..]

---

Vampirewitch39
01:48 Nov 06 2010

You SOOO nailed it!! ROFL... that is the first laugh I have had in a week. Thank you!

---

POST COMMENT